I feel the comfiest the more lonely I am I feel the comfiest There’s no crime in being introspective No crime introspective I feel calm, I feel good. I feel calm, I feel the God in me. I feel like nothing can catch me anymore I feel I feel Ooh ooh Left with my thoughts, my own energy I feel the securest Left with my thoughts, energy and embrace. I feel calm I feel the dark in me I feel dark I feel the securest I feel like nothing can catch me anymore I feel I feel. Ooh ooh. Written, Performed & Produced by Sanni Est

(Lyrics or non-lyrics flexible) And I can’t say I’m surprised It will keep rising For now, who has much, keeps much It will keep rising Help me believe Help me believe it can be diferente. Will there be the final judge? Written & Performed by Sanni Est

In short I could blame All my misery In whiteness And patriarchy. And in long, I could tell you all my history, Elaborate in what they did to me As I tried to exist in this world As I gave love and claimed some in return. It’s a full-time job to remain sane If the standard they serve is inhumane No, I’m not victimising myself Just making sure you’ve got all intel To deal with me Make sure you’ll act Accordingly I’ve been thru hell! (Meticulously elaborated by) You and your ancestors Categorising me ’N a way I cannot choose Whether I’ll compactuate. It’s global The awakened sense of urgency Their violence is not ancestral They just don’t wanna dig in too deep Queerness simply is pre-colonial So is our solidarity Sisterhood, patience and empathy Our values we must hold on tight And destroy their illusion of might Over my kind I’ll not forget! Now is our time, Stay put, sister! Written by Sanni Est Performance Sanni Est & Natalie Greffel

I do not need your permission

I've been wasted and bored I have crawled on this shore Sometimes I felt a pain I won't try it again. Now I wanna see what's there of new I wanna feel what no one sees I won't just turn my other cheek I wanna swim in other seas I'm not scared of it at all I can show new things to my heart If I go down, I'll still support My dreams of saving the freedom Written by Sanni Est Performed by Sanni Est & Dornika Kazerani

(lyrics or non-lyrics flexible) If you think your life is hard, try being an immigrant And you’ll hear your name in the horizon If you think no one gets you, try being a miracle And you’ll speak rubbish to everyone No one warns you No one gets you No one can prepare Many will try to __________ And go anywhere If you think you’re there If you think If you think you’re difficult, Try being an alien And you won’t make sense to anyone If you think you’re hard to get, try being a T-goddess And your sentence will be loneliness No one chooses, no one warns you No one can prepare If your problems get too much Then, you’re on the way. Written and performed by Sanni Est

When realities sneakingly appear And you’re not prepared to deal with And maybe you learn to love And together you grow strong (Ooh-ooh ooh) And your world gets much bigger (-) And it’s suddenly interrupted. Written & Performed by Sanni Est

Do we incorporate all this into heterosexuality, expand heterosexuality beyond binaries, or abolish these categories altogether? Somewhat straight in the sexual sense, the opposite of straight in its broader sense, will being with us publicly make all these He’s lose some of their precious masculinity, normality, maybe even become a slight bit LGBT? I’m certain it scares them, but after going through 8 rapes and 200 gropes, it feels like consoling a baby who scraped his knee; and what can I say when my tongue’s been tugged out by trauma; that the trouble with feral cats is we seldom live long if not adopted; that my child within merely survives for I can still soliloquize? LISTEN UP STRAIGHT SOFTBOYS,If you began walking down the streets hand-in-hand with us our lives would glide 5 times lighter, for you’ve got 10 times our power, yet here we are, suffering with 15 times your courage! ...“Your courage”... You clean comfortable closed-minded shortsighted white western colonial-christian-binary ”progressives”, so scared to stray from status safe lives with wives, with kids, while the supposedly more conservative hetero machos seem to simply see long legs, pretty face, sexy booty and have no issues fucking us OR raping us, behind closed doors, always behind closed doors, never misgendering us, yes dear they really see us as women and proceed to treat us as badly as they wish they could get away with treating all women. It feels like hell where gropes roast us hot for a moment better than the room temperature you keep us in every morning of this life waking up alone in our beds, morose in our beds, alone in our beds LISTEN UP STRAIGHT SOFTBOYS this world’s not fair, some give everything and get nothing, others give nothing and get everything, and that truth is larger than life. Oy vey, I am a stubborn 115-pound antelope trying to carry a 2-ton hippo across the Nile so crocodiles won’t dare to bite us as often - My heart beats, It takes beatings.. Vulnerability means taking sensitivity to a volatile risk zone; Sårbarhet - the ability to get hurt - an emotional Vagina Dentata scraping the sky to open a world, not for consumption. Your hand, pulsating into mine, A river ________ into a river Rhine; into an ephemeral eternity of burning ‘Why’s; a fractured skeleton dancing on Mercury - not Venus, nor Mars - right here, inside. But you’ll never give me that tenderness kiss, so perhaps it is high time I stuck my head in the gas oven, leaving a beautiful corpse, as the ultimate sex toy gift. Stiff like a Barbie doll, for all the 600.000.000 tranny chasers to store in their closets. MY REVENGE: A stink bomb that reveals The Whole Shebang! Hypocrites, hypocrites, cowards, cowards, nowhere near the bravery of sissies. Lest we were put on this Earth solely to suffer, a day shall come when we escape this cesspit with or without you! I cry. I cry the Deluge against your walls. For by the time you read these verses I may or may not have a vagina, I may or may not even be alive, but I dare say you’ll never find a soul that tightly envelopes such depth, such warmth, such wetness, as mine, as mine... Text & Performance by Alex Alvina Chamberland

You used to be good with the drums with your beats As I listen to our sessions Your will never make a sound again As I watch Our recordings You will never get a cue from me again I can’t ever give you my cue again I flew thousands of miles Though will never see your smile again you will never look (disbelieved) You will never raise your lashes Curiously at me again Never again Never again You will never roll your eyes at me again Written & Performed by Sanni Est